Califoregon Living

In past posts I mentioned a little about our journey with my mom.  One of the biggest blessings through the whole process was the gift of TIME.  This was what I focused on for the first few weeks.  While I was creating memories with my mom, family, and friends, I had two other friends receive a phone call that both of their father’s were fading fast and to come and say goodbye.  I thought I had received that call that evening in October.  Both of their parents passed away shortly upon their arrival.  God kept mom on this earth for slightly over two months.  The gift of time.

My mother was spared the burden of the ravages of chemo and radiation that accompanies cancer, or a condition that robs the mind, like Alzheimer’s.  Although she endured horrific bouts of pain and nausea, the episodes would come and go.  She was still able to spend quality time with the ones she loved.  We reveled in KAIROS.

The ancient Greeks have two words for time, Chronos and Kairos.

Our culture perceives time as Chronos – chronologically.  We view time as something that we measure and quantify.  It is something that we view as valuable and not something to waste.  Time is something we view as “ours”, as if  we “own” it.

How would your speech change of you believed time is something that belongs to God?  That time is a gift He gives to us.

Psalm 90:4 – “for a thousand years in your sight are like a day that has just gone by, or like a watch in the night.”

2 Peter 3:8  says – “But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day.”

Proverbs 16:1-4 “To humans belong the plans of the heart, but from the LORD comes the proper answer of the tongue.  All a person’s ways seem pure to them, but motives are weighed by the LORD.  Commit to the LORD whatever you do, 
and he will establish your plans.  The LORD works out everything to its proper end— even the wicked for a day of disaster. (This is a good reminder that no matter how wonderful your plans and intentions are, they must eventually give way to God’s.  Do you make it a habit of setting your plans, ALL YOUR PLANS, before God for His approval?

Kairos, on the other hand, focuses on the quality and the content of time itself, independent of length.  It is filled with opportunity; eternal significance and possibility.  It is a time of circumstances and relationships. 

Galatians 6:9-10 says, “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.  Therefore, as we have OPPORTUNITY (this word derived from kairos), let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.”

When God provides you with opportunities (try not to think of them as interruptions), what is often the nature of these opportunities?  This was a huge thing for me.  Shifting my thought process from perceiving an interruption (messing up with my chronos timeframe), to an opportunity, (the present kairos moment full of possibility.)

2 Corinthians 9:6-8 “Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.” (This verse is often mentioned regarding finances, but I can see it  relating to time as well.)

What if we shifted our perception of time from Chronos to Kairos?  If we can thank God for His provision, and express for the opportunities He gives us to love others, the opportunities he’s allowing us to share.  That out of our love for Him, we can freely give of ourselves without reluctance or compulsion.  Each moment is a gift of TIME.

“Stop caring about what other people think and start thinking about caring for other people…”

I saw this somewhere recently and it really stuck with me.  How many times have I scrutinized myself over the years over my figure, hairstyle, makeup application, clothing before a social function…How many times have I stressed over how my  beliefs and lifestyle (including homeschool) choices would appear to others?

Now that I am 40-something, here are a few things I have learned over the years:

1) Don’t focus on looking good; focus on being healthy.  How I wish I could have embraced this truth back in my teens!  All the wasted energy of trying to look good and never measuring up!  Society seeks to tear us down and focus on what’s wrong,(ever watch those “entertainment” shows that pick apart celebrities?  Do you ever find yourself in social situations where the same is being done with your peers?) but I am “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Ps. 139:14), by a Creator who counts every hair on my head. (Luke 12:7).  If I believe this, I will then believe that I am physically created exactly as God intended.  Who am I to disrespect His creation?  This does not mean that I am going to stop trying to look good, but I am going to stop using the world as my guide.  My main focus turns to making wise choices to care for the body God gave me.  Of course, I still enjoy getting my hair and nails done, etc., but it’s a minor consideration versus the main focus of wise choices for health, and building inner character according to God’s will and not my own or the world’s.
1 Samuel 16:7 “But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”  Health naturally looks good anyway.

2) My Style is My Style.  I have a friend who has the coolest, most unique sense of style.  She creates much of her clothing and you will never see the same item on anyone else.  I joke that she is my ‘alter-ego’.  She wears what I am too afraid to.  I just know I could not pull off what she so beautifully can.  But, she has inspired me to be a little more creative with how I put myself together.  To seek items that make me smile and wear them without worrying about what others think.  I am a hat person, but used to not wear them much.  I am challenging myself to incorporate them more into my daily wardrobe, as a way to define my style.  I am also going to take sewing classes this year and look forward to tapping into that creative element.

3) Actions that Glorify God, Not Myself or Others.  Through the years, I have tended toward being a “people-pleaser”.  I love getting positive affirmations from others.  Really, who doesn’t?  But, I have had to learn to shift my thoughts and actions toward glorifying God, and God alone.  I used to rush into service opportunities for the recognition.  Now, before I agree to something, I process the action through this filter: Does it bring God glory?  How will it affect my family and home life?  Is this something God wants me to do, or is this one more “good” thing that may not be meant for me?

4) Stop Over-analzying.  Song lyrics,“turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in his wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of his glory and grace.” (see video here).  When we keep our focus on Jesus, we can stop worrying about what other people think.  When we focus on Him, and His will for us, His glory and grace  causes everything else to become strangely dim.  If we look up, there’s no need to look around for our identity or our validation.  The only time we need to look around is to find others and to point up and share with them the wonderful face of Jesus Christ.

5) Forgive Yourself and Others.  When we bear a grudge, the bitterness and resentment eats away at our core.  The grudge hurts us more than it hurts the one it’s intended for.  When we forgive, we are free from the bitterness and resentment.  Confessing our sins and laying them at the feet of Jesus, (what He calls us to do), we can leave them there and start anew.  Because the sins are at the cross, they no longer need to be strapped to your back and carried around, a constant reminder of the past.  Because you are forgiven by Jesus, you no longer have to worry about what other people think.  There is only one opinion that matters.

…and start thinking about caring for other people…

that’s a whole new blog post.